Hi Reader,

Have you ever been in a meeting with senior leaders and had this happen?

You have an idea.

A good one.

You thought about it before the meeting, so you’re ready.

Then the senior leaders enter the room and suddenly your very good idea starts sounding... questionable.

You wait.

You rethink how you were going to say it.

You tell yourself you’re looking for the right moment.

And then someone else says almost exactly what you were going to say.

Everyone loves it.

And now you’re sitting there thinking:

“I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT.”

I talk about this a lot in my coaching work because it’s one of the ways Imposter Syndrome can show up that people don’t always recognize.

It doesn’t always sound like:

“I’m a fraud.”

Sometimes it simply looks like getting quieter around people with more authority.

Your brain may interpret those rooms as higher stakes because the people in them can influence your reputation, opportunities, and advancement.

So instead of simply focusing on your idea, part of your attention shifts to:

What if they disagree?

What did that look mean?

Maybe I should wait.

And suddenly speaking feels much riskier than it did five minutes earlier.

This Week’s Tip: Speak Early

Before your next high-stakes meeting, decide on one small thing you will say within the first 10 minutes.

Ask a question.

Add an observation.

Build on someone else’s point.

It does not need to be brilliant.

The goal is simply to get your voice into the room early.

Because once you’ve spoken, your brain has less time to turn speaking into A Very Big Event!

And each time you contribute and nothing terrible happens, you give your brain new evidence:

I can be visible here and still be okay.

So the next time you feel yourself getting quieter around senior leaders, don’t assume you have nothing valuable to add.

Your brain may simply be trying a little too hard to protect you.

Thank it for its concern.

Then speak anyway. 😉

—
​Phyllis

P.S. Want to understand more about why this happens?

In my latest article, “Why Your Brain Makes You Go Quiet Around Senior Leaders,” I go deeper into the neuroscience behind this response and how you can begin changing the pattern.

👉 Read the article here.

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About Phyllis: Phyllis is a seasoned Executive Coach, Leadership Development Consultant, and former studio and healthcare executive. She works with leaders, physicians, creatives, and sports professionals in high-pressure, high-visibility industries. Phyllis has coached trailblazers from organizations including Amazon MGM Studios, Apple TV+, Atlantic Records, Bristol Myers Squibb, Columbia Pictures, Eli Lilly, Johns Hopkins Health System, MD Anderson Cancer Center, Netflix, Paramount Global, Sony Pictures, Spotify, Stanford University Medicine, U.S. Figure Skating & Warner Bros. Entertainment. Her work integrates leadership science, neuroscience, and performance psychology to help high performers successfully lead and perform under pressure. Read more about her here​

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